More than halfway into the Hebrew school calendar, Maxon is very clear how he feels about it: He hates it (quel surprise), it's boring, and he really wants to learn Hebrew but isn't learning it – or anything else.

Now, I have a midterm report card that paints a slightly different picture, but still. My feelings about Hebrew school are more conflicted. When Maxon gets closer to his Bar Mitzvah, we will have to pay extra for tutoring at the synagogue regardless, so why not just get a tutor now, reclaim our weekends and be done with Hebrew school?

“So. How was Hebrew school?”

My son Maxon's answer to my question at 12:38 p.m.: “It was OK. It wasn’t so bad.”

Hebrew school starts on Sept. 8. Maxon, my oldest, is nine and it’s time for him to start.

Again.

We enrolled him in "Mercaz Limud" at Congregation Rodeph Shalom when he was 4. This did not go well. Every Sunday in the main sanctuary, Maxon exploded in his signature you-are-taking-me-to-my-fiery-death fit. You know what feels louder than your child’s tantrum in synagogue? Perhaps a military fighter jet. If said jet were inside your body.