I recently took our two sons to a shiva of an old friend of the family. It was the first time they'd gone to a shiva of someone who was a complete stranger to them, mourned by an apartment full of complete strangers. I didn't expect them to feel as safe as they did when surrounded by family after their great grandparents died. But after preparing them for what they would see and how they should act before we took the elevator up to the apartment, I didn't fully expect the exercise in introversion that followed.